June 2007 Archives

A guy can't catch a break around here. I was trying deliberately to see what kind of rating I would get for the MissingLinks page, in particular for an entry about the so-called "Net Authority", a spoof of X-tian Internet morality sites. It's so good, people might actually think it's a real right-wing X-tian website. They claim that interracial relationships consitute "bestiality", and think that websites with baby pictures on them (all websites with baby pictures on them) are obscene.

In any case, I was curious about the "What's My Blog Rated" page on Mingle2.com, curious to see how the rating algorithm worked. Apparently, using the work "fuck" doesn't lift you up from a "G" rating. And "bestiality" doesn't even register:

As a litmus test, I ran StileProject through it, and it did register -- boy did it register:

Try it out. See how edgy your blog (or any website) is.

OK, it's a slow work day. But it's a good quiz.

87% GeekMingle² - mingle2.com

Hmmmph. Thought I'd be better than this.

67%

Mingle² - mingle2.com

I've been keeping an RSS eye on "95% Of You Are Morons", along with a bunch of other blogs in my feed page. This entry got me giggling, and I remembered the big days in customer support when we has a team of 20, and actually had a huge load of calls. These days, it's not so busy, but we're hoping it will pick up again when our Sales team gets momentum.

Here's the entry: Don't Be a Moron #1 - Calling Customer Service

This one's probably the most important rule about customer support:

3. Don't call me two minutes before I leave for the day.

Do you really think I want to stay late on Friday night to listen to you bitch? No. Make your call to customer service during the mid-morning about 10:00 AM in whatever time zone you are calling. That way, I've had my coffee, picked out the eye boogers and put my thinking cap on. I haven't been yelled at all day, and I'm not thinking about going to lunch or going home. Trust me - call at 10 and your issue will receive maximum attention.

Here's an interesting essay on the Mai Tai. It explains how a drink with such a closely guarded secret recipe (like the "Flaming Moe") could cause such confusion down the line. The drink wasn't even published in Trader Vic's books:

Since Trader Vic was not about to share this recipe with his customers, much less other bartenders, if somebody happened to have a Mai Tai at Trader Vic, and then innocently attempted to order it at another bar, they would of course have a problem. At first, most bartenders would not have heard of this drink before, and so would admit their inability to make this drink for their customer, but in many cases they would try to quiz the customer as to what they recall about the drink, and thus be able to provide them with a close approximation. Imagine the customer describing the drink as: "It was a rum drink, with some sort of juices in it, and I think a bit of a reddish color". This of course could describe almost any of the drinks served by these Tiki bars, and yet the bartender would often try to piece something together that would make their customer happy. Often, they would come up with something that probably tasted quite good, and thus the next time a customer came in asking for a Mai Tai, they would deftly mix up another one of these drinks and eventually it would probably even make it onto their bar menu. This process would have then eventually brought about a dozen different recipes being served at the dozens of different Tiki bars across the country. Eventually, the dilution of this drink would have gotten so great, that the various bars themselves would have forgotten exactly how they came about these recipes, to the point of thinking that perhaps "they" were the origin of this by now common cocktail.

A while ago I wrote about the myth of the Velvet Hammer, a drink whose recipe is so contested that I was able to collect 16 or so recipes from various sources, including books and the Internet.

Today, I was looking at an article on the Food Network (via Slashfood) about the top 10 summer drinks. In that list were a couple of classics, including the venerable Mai Tai, so I decided to check up on the recipe, in case I decided to make one tonight in my new basement bar:

Mai Tai #1

• 4 ounces light rum
  
• 2 ounces Triple Sec
  
• 8 ounces passion fruit juice
  
• 2 ounces dark rum
  
• Lime wedge
  

It all seemed good; rum, Triple Sec, a lime wedge ... I'd have to go to the store and pick up some more passion fruit juice. Wait ... passion fruit juice? Since when was that in the Mai Tai? And where was the Orgeat syrup? Hmmm. Looks like I should perhaps check Drinks Mixer to see what the real recipe is:

Mai Tai #2

• 1 oz light rum
  
• 1/2 oz creme de almond
  
• 1/2 oz triple sec
  
• sweet and sour mix
  
• pineapple juice
  
• 1/2 oz Myer's® dark rum
  

That looks a little better, but still -- what's with the pineapple juice? Several commenters left their own recipes:

Mai Tai #3

• 1 ounce light rum
  
• 1 ounce gold rum
  
• 1/2 ounce orange curaçao
  
• 1/2 ounce Orgeat (Almond Syrup)
  
• 1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
  
• 1 ounce dark rum
  

Mai Tai #4

• The real mai tai has 5 tropical juices and rum. [no it doesn't]
  

Mai Tai #5

• 1 ounce Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
  
• 1 ounce Cruzan Black Strap Rum
  
• 1/2 ounce Torani Orgeat
  
• 1/2 ounce Bols Orange Curaçao
  
• 1/4 ounce Rock Candy Syrup (homemade)
  
• juice from one fresh lime
  

Mai Tai #6

• 1 oz Fresh Lime
  
• 1/4 oz Orgeat
  
• 1/4 oz Triple Sec or Cointreau
  
• 1/4 oz Sugar Syrup
  
• 1 1/2 oz Jamaican Rum
  
• 1 1/2 oz Martinique Rum
  

Mai Tai #7

• 1oz Jamaican rum (Appleton Estate is good)
  
• 1oz Martinique rum (Rhum St. James is good)
  
• 1/2 oz orange curaçao (not the blue stuff)
  
• 1/4 oz Orgeat syrup (not creme de almond)
  
• 1/4 oz sugar syrup (and Vic puts a little vanilla in his)
  
• the juice of one small lime (3/4 oz approx.)
  

Mai Tai #8

• 1 oz light rum
  
• 1 oz gold rum
  
• 1/2 oz triple sec
  
• 1/2 oz orange Curaçao (sub almond syrup)[sic - I think they meant Orgeat syrup here]
  
• splash grenadine
  
• juice of 1/2 lime or splash of roses lime juice
  
• 1 oz orange juice
  
• 1 oz pineapple juice
  
• splash of dark rum
  
• garnish pineapple wedge
  

Mai Tai #9

• 1 1/2 oz Myer's Plantation Rum
  
• 1 oz Cuban Rum
  
• 3/4 oz fresh lime juice
  
• 1 oz fresh grapefruit juice
  
• 1/4 oz Flaernum
  
• 1/2 oz Cointreau
  
• 2 dashes Angostura Bitters
  
• 1 dash Pernod
  
• Shell of squeezed lime
  
• Garnish with four sprigs mint
  
• Add a spear of pineapple.
  

Mai Tai #10

• jigger of gold rum
  
• fruit punch
  
• banana/pineapple juice
  

Granted the origin of the Mai Tai is still disputed, but "Trader Vic" Bergeron would appear to have the most reliable claim on this drink. Many of the comments agreed (#3, #5, #6, #7), and some people left slight variations on the original formula defined by Trader Vic. Here's as close as we can get:

Mai Tai: The Original Formula

• 2 ounces 17-year-old J. Wray Nephew Jamaican rum
  
• 1/2 ounce French Garnier Orgeat syrup
  
• 1/2 ounce Holland DeKuyper Orange Curacao
  
• 1/4 ounce Rock Candy Syrup
  
• juice from one fresh lime
  

This one looks sound. At least it matches what is listed on Trader Vic's website:

I was at the service bar in my Oakland restaurant. I took down a bottle of 17-year-old rum. It was J. Wray Nephew from Jamaica; surprisingly golden in color, medium bodied, but with the rich pungent flavor particular to the Jamaican blends. The flavor of this great rum wasn't meant to be overpowered with heavy additions of fruit juices and flavorings. I took a fresh lime, added some orange curacao from Holland, a dash of Rock Candy Syrup, and a dollop of French Orgeat, for its subtle almond flavor. A generous amount of shaved ice and vigorous shaking by hand produced the marriage I was after. Half the lime shell went in for color ... I stuck in a branch of fresh mint and gave two of them to Ham and Carrie Guild, friends from Tahiti, who were there that night. Carrie took one sip and said, "Mai Tai - Roa Ae". In Tahitian this means "Out of This World - The Best". Well, that was that. I named the drink "Mai Tai".

This is not the same problem as with the Velvet Hammer. The Mai Tai is much more like the Martini in this case, a very well defined recipe that has not changed much over the years, but people who aren't interested in looking it up produce their own recipe and add the "Mai Tai" moniker to it.

Granted, the recipe may have had to change, owing to the decreasing availability of the ingredients. Says the Trader Vic website:

The success of the Mai Tai and its acceptance soon caused the 17-year-old rum to become unavailable, so it was substituted with the same fine rum with 15 years aging which maintained the outstanding quality.

Also, other ingredients started disappearing:

Consistent quality was maintained in both a 15- and 8-year aging. This rum, though excellent, didn't exactly match the end flavor of the original 17-year old product. This desired nutty and snappy flavor was added by the use of a Martinique rum. During this period Trader Vic had also changed the original Orange Curacao to one produced by Bols which was more to his liking. The popularity of the Mai Tai demanded that production on the bars be streamlined. Each individual bar was instructed to pre-mix the Curacao, Orgeat and Rock Candy Syrup in appropriate amounts.

Which brings us to:

Mai Tai: The Revised Original Formula

• 2 ounces Martinique rum
  
• 1/2 ounce Henry Smith (Galen Co.) Orgeat syrup
  
• 1/2 ounce Bols Orange Curacao
  
• 1/4 ounce Rock Candy Syrup
  
• juice from one fresh lime
  

And, honestly, it's almost impossible to find Orange Curaço today. Substituting with Triple Sec is preferable to using Blue Curaço, lest you end up with a green Mai Tai.

So, in my bar, right now, I have only the following rums: Pusser's Navy rum, Havana Club 7 year, Havana Club Cask reserve, J. Wray Nephew Jamaican overproof white rum, and a variety of Bacardi flavoured rums. R says "No more rum," so I'll have to make due with what I've got for now. So, assuming I hit the grocery store for some mint and pineapple spears (I really hate opening up a can or carving a pineapple for a damn garnish), here's what my recipe will look like -- My Mai Tai:

Mai Tai #13

• 1oz Havana Club 7 year-old rum (Cuba)
  
• 1oz Pusser's Navy rum (British Virgin Islands)
  
• 1/2oz Triple Sec
  
• 1/4oz whatever brand Orgeat syrup is in my fridge
  
• 1tsp superfine sugar
  
• juice of 1 lime
  
• garnish with a mint sprig,
  
• one pineapple spear,
  
• and a cocktail cherry