January 2003 Archives

--A word from the National Association of Pornographers--


The human body is a disgusting, sweaty, hairy, germ-laden mass. Human skin is often pockmarked with scars, warts, pustules and worse. Do you want that rubbing against your tender young flesh? Certainly not!


Many young people today are turning to sex as a recreational activity. As you have probably heard, sexual intercourse is the number-one cause of orgasm in this country. This must stop!





http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0106/porn/

A great site to get fonts, fun and crazy tiki advice from Trader Vic.


Most people are familiar with Victor "Trader Vic" Bergeron's chain of bars and restaurants (sadly, there are few still open Stateside). Few know that ol' Vic could whip together a sentence as well as he could mix up a Mai Tai! I've excerpted a couple of my favorite chapters from Trader Vic's Book of Food and Drink, originally published in 1946, right here for your reading pleasure! But enough yammering from me . let's get this show on the road!


http://www.rotodesign.com/vic/vic.html

There's 30,000 songs available, and you can request any one of them. HUZZAH!





http://www.totalpunkradio.com/

Using the national spotlight to sell a technology still foreign to most Americans, President Bush on Tuesday proposed a $1.2 billion program to help build the infrastructure needed to revolutionize the cars we drive. The goal is to replace the polluting internal combustion engine with battery-like fuel cells that run on nonpolluting hydrogen. But obstacles exist, and the long time frame has environmentalists worried that more immediate action will be ignored.


http://www.msnbc.com/news/865910.asp?cp1=1

Originally posted Dec 20, 2002. I dug this one up in my main blog, and thought it might go better in the missinglinks film section.





So we ended up going to see "Star Trek: Nemesis". God, that movie sucked. I'm not a religious person, but GOD, that movie sucked.


And I'm a Star Trek fan, too. Not a big, obsessive fan that gets all dressed up and goes to the cons, and whatnot, but I've seen most of the episodes -- of all the series, not just the original Trek (I'm not a big fan of Enterprise, mainly because of the theme music). Here's how much of a fan I am: I knew "Nemesis" would suck, but I went to see it anyway. And it wasn't an unredeemable suckiness either, there were some really good parts. Some really good parts. But much of it was bad -- too much of it was bad.


And don't get me wrong. It wasn't just because of the "Trek Logic". The logic and science used in Star Trek is pretty bad, but is pretty believable most of the time. In this case, though, they violated their own logic. They did this so many times, that it started pissing me off. Here's my top 10 list of gripes. Note: contains spoilers, but who cares. It's Star Trek.

1. Basically, it's a rip-off of "Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan": The captain's equal gets a ship and tries to kill him, even though there are countless other possibilities for revenge. The villain also has a weapon of unspeakable power, capable of destroying a whole planet. They finally have a showdown in a large nebula cloud, and play a stealthy game of cat-and-mouse. Finally, the villain activates the weapon, gets killed before it goes off, and the Enterprise escapes before the weapon can kill everyone.
   
2. Early on in the film, Picard and his team fly down to a planet to track and retrieve some positronic signatures. The planet is pre-warp (as stressed prior to them leaving), so doing anything in full view of the inhabitants is a direct and flagrant violation of the Prime Directive. Yet they treat it like an extreme sports vacation. They drive around in a suped-up dune buggy, fly their shuttle around a lot, and shoot phasers at everyone.
   
3. Data got fat. It's not that big a deal, but there are two of him in this flick. Think they could have toned Brent Spiner up a bit before stuffing him in a jumpsuit?
   
4. There are two Datas. I don't know why, and it wasn't explained sufficiently for me, but why go through the trouble to get a second Data, then use it to bait Picard into visiting a planet by the Neutral Zone anyway? They've got the Enterprise in Romulan space already, they've got superior cloaking technology, and are planning on destroying Earth. Why not just take the ship and be done with it?
   
5. I still don't think you can ram two ships into each other, then back one out and separate them. I don't think the laws of physics work that way, even given that these are two massive ships.
   
6. The Enterprise is without shields at one point, the Romulan ship (Reman ship, whatever) has 73% shields remaining. The Enterprise tries to RAM the other ship. What do you expect to happen? Personally, I think the Enterprise gets destroyed, while the other ship is fine. But no....
   
7. Both ships are without weapons. Both ships are essentially defenseless (except the Romulan ship which should have had shields left). But the Enterprise still has this Ship's Yacht, the Argo. Presumably it still had weapons. The Romulan ship has dozens of fighters too. Why weren't any of these being used? We see them getting destroyed? Could no one pilot them?
   
8. Where the hell was everybody? It seemed as if Picard killed everyone on the Romulan ship. And what's he doing taking on the bad guys by himself anyway?
   
9. The villain is a CLONE of Picard, but is genetically engineered by the Romulans to age rapidly and die unless he gets a "complete transfusion of Picard's blood". I'm not making this up. If he's genetically predetermined to die, how does a transfusion save him? And apparently he needs to actually have Picard there to get all of his blood, or it won't work. OK, we see him earlier replicating a cup of tea, and also getting a sample of Picard's blood. Why doesn't he just clone all the blood, and replicate 20 gallons of the stuff? Why does Picard have to be there?
   
10. Finally, Data has this personal emergency transport beacon, not unlike several other kinds of transporter enhancers we've seen in the TNG series. However, he makes it plainly obvious that he only has one of them in a situation where two are required. Later, he's in the exact same situation, with the same person (Picard), but still only has one of them. Why wouldn't he just take two? Also, it's an "emergency transport device", but probably still requires the transporters to be working, right? Right? We'll the transporters are broken on the Enterprise, and it still works. Why didn't they use the Argo to transport? Why not any of the shuttles? They all have transporters, don't they?
    

Dishwashers, automobiles and other products are increasingly driven by software. But digits don't always do a better job. Where do you turn when your appliance's software goes south?


Maurice Bailey's Miele G885 SC dishwasher cleans dishes almost as well as a human being. Its 10 separate programs control the washing and drying of fine crystal and crusty pans. Its electronic controls warn owners if the drain is blocked. It also carefully regulates both the temperature and the consumption of water, something humans often neglect to do.


http://www.baselinemag.com/article2/0,3959,833424,00.asp?kc=BAZD103019TX1K0100547

Once upon a time we invented a great game called "Escape From Eluned". In truth you've probably played it yourself under a different name.


The rules are as follows:


1) Get a friend very drunk - one called Eluned works best.
2) Balance as many things as you can on them without waking them up.
3) Take photographic evidence.
4) Remove all the items, thus leaving the victim unaware that anything has happened.
5) Create a website. Sit back and watch friend turn red.


http://benjanaway.users.btopenworld.com/EFE.htm

He lost a violent cyberwar game known as Counterstrike and then shot the victor.


Police now think that losing the game and being ridiculed about it triggered the Coquitlam Internet cafe shooting Jan. 18 that cost 17-year-old Christian Kwee his life.


http://www.canada.com/vancouver/news/story.asp
?id=11EEC76F-D53B-49EF-81E0-01FBE9156CFD

Craig Schaffner, 46, a Fayetteville-area computer consultant, has earned the pity of friends and acquaintances for his tragic reluctance to embrace the unverifiable, sources reported Monday.


"I honestly feel sorry for the guy," said neighbor Michael Eddy, 54, a born-again Christian. "To live in this world not believing in a higher power, doubting that Christ died for our sins.that's such a sad, cynical way to live. I don't know how he gets through his day.


http://www.theonion.com/onion3902/skeptic_pitied.html

Would you spend $75 on a hamburger?


No? Then you obviously don't live in Manhattan, because that's the latest craze sweeping this competitive metropolis.


Call it The Burger Wars.


It all started last fall, when Daniel Boulud, the current heavy-hitter among New York restaurateurs, opened his db Bistro Moderne and placed a $45 (all prices Canadian) burger on the menu as the signature dish. The place was packed and everyone thought that would be the novelty item of the season.


Then, on Jan. 13, the venerable Old Homestead Steakhouse jumped into the fray by adding a $65 burger made from Kobe beef imported from Japan.


http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/
Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1035776991472&call_pageid=968332188492&col=968793972154

Ever wanted to know who owns the different media corporations around the world? Consult this handy little chart for the latest information on media ownership.


http://www.mediachannel.org/ownership/chart.shtml

Although normal restricted to smokers or pyros, the Zippo lighter is definetly a pretty cool item for the task of setting something alight. Now I have found the site that shows you how to do tricks with it, check out the bloopers too here

I think I finally found the phone I'm going to marry:


The large, bright screen of the Kyocera 7135 smartphone displays over 65,000 different colors. Download and view pictures and videos, play games, color code all those spreadsheets - things are just more exciting in color. What's more, you can do it all while listening to your favorite tunes with the onboard MP3 player.


The sleek, lightweight clamshell design of the Kyocera 7135 smartphone gives you brain without all the brawn. Plus it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to take advantage of all its great features.





And it's lemon scented, too.


http://www.kyocera-wireless.com/7100_phone/7135/
consumers/7135_consumers_product_specifications.htm

A Texas man is suing McDonald's claiming too much black pepper on a breakfast burrito caused him two months of daily nosebleeds.


Marcus Long also says the burrito he ate on November 18 caused an infection in his mouth and possible damage to his vocal chords


http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_740238.html?menu=news.quirkies

OK, I like to think of myself as a moderate StarWars geek. That said, this guy is nuts:


"Whilst there is certainly a coherence to the blade, and there is certainly a degree of light visible, its behaviour is NOT consistent with the coherent light beams of laser generators. Indeed the light seen is probably little more than a side effect. There are a number of possible explanations for explaining this glow. Perhaps it is the decay of the 'particles' of which the blade is made, as they 'spin away' from the cutting core. Perhaps the glow is from the annihilation of air molecules as they drift into the blade ... there are no canonical examples of sabres activated in vacuum or underwater, but numerous apocryphal sources suggest that the glow is constant under these conditions. If this is so - then the 'decay' model is preferred."


http://www.synicon.com.au/sw/ls/sabres4.htm

An Australian miner has framed his dad's skin, complete with tattoos, and is hanging it in the dining room.


Carl Whittaker's father, Barry, asked for the four tattoos on his back and arms to be removed and preserved following his death from cancer in 1999.


http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_739885.html?menu=news.weirdworld.badtaste

Since 1833, it has been a crime in Georgia for unmarried people to engage in sex.


But a decision issued Monday by the Georgia Supreme Court voids the controversial and seldom-used statute when applied against people in private, consensual sexual relationships.


The court threw out the fornication conviction against Jesse McClure, who was 16 when he was found having sex with his girlfriend in September 2001 at her Fayette County home. The girl's mother caught them in the act at about 3 a.m.


http://www.accessatlanta.com/ajc/metro/0103/14fornicate.html

(BEND, Ore.) You better hit the shower before you board the bus in Bend.

Proposed new city rules would ban spitting, defecating, smoking, skateboarding, and stinking on city buses.

The regulations ban anyone who "emanates a grossly repulsive odor that is unavoidable by other Bend Extended Area Transit customers" from being in the bus station or on a bus.

http://wcco.com/water/watercooler_story_013095724.html

Makers of the Q-Ray ionized bracelet say wearers will have less pain and more strength. But new research at Mayo Clinic Jacksonville suggests the biggest change is lighter wallets and that any benefit comes from something in people's heads.


http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/011303/met_11454670.shtml

Here's a really cool film site:


Several years ago, I was trying to figure a way to put my useless film knowledge and extensive trips to the theater to good use, and after finding a few people who gave a damn I started an emailing list where I'd send reviews on a weekly basis.


The list grew pretty quick in my office (I worked in sales at a publishing company, which in turn lessened my life by 10 years or so due to stress), and soon I was looking for "the next step".


Cinematic Happenings Under Development was born, and I had my buddy Ryan Murphy (cousin of CHUD Sci-Fighter Steve Murphy, and longtime friend) work on a design since I was baffled by html.


http://www.chud.com/

Welcome to www.VillainSupply.com, Your Online Source For Everything EVIL. If you are a supervillain, mad scientist, warlord, dictator, or despot, then this is the place for you.


HELD OVER TO JANUARY:
CLEARANCE SALE: WEAPONS GRADE PLUTONIUM


In preparation for its impending annihilation by U.S. Forces, the Government of Iraq is liquidating its entire stock of Weapons Grade Plutonium-239. VillainSupply is acting as broker for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Act NOW!!





http://www.villainsupply.com

The ET Corn Gods Language is used to uncover hidden meanings in words of the English Language. The language has a logic/mathematical twist to it. The number 66 is the base of the math used. There are [five primary tables ] used to convert normal words into families of hidden meanings. Those five tables are: 1) Alphabet converted to numbers; 2) Roman Numerals; 3) Numbers converted to the base 66; 4) the Table of Contents for the 66 books of the Bible; and 5) the Periodic Table of the Elements.


The funny part of this is: the guy who runs this site actually called into our Tech Support line, asking if we could help troubleshoot his "vb-6 app which ftp's files to and from a server". We don't sell/support "vb-6", so I wonder why he sent to us anyway.


http://www.etcorngods.com/

Pssst! Hey, buddy, wanna look at the latest, greatest Internet porn for free? Pictures, videos, erotic stories and live sex chats . it.s all yours for nothing.


This is a pretty good article, despite the timeliness of it (1999).


http://www.msnbc.com/news/283612.asp

Pulled this from the SWG forums. It's a bunch of X-tians who will be playing StarWars Galaxies, and want to setup an X-tian players' association. I think it's strange that people would intentionally bring their religious beliefs into a StarWars-themed game.


"Hello,
This is Zodakk, leader of The Consecrated.
The Consecrated is a Christian Player Association. We accept anyone that believes Jesus died for their sins and as their personal Savior. We are currently looking for new members in all professions and species.
The Consecrated was created for Christians to come together and play Star Wars Galaxies and have fun as a group of people in the same faith. You can visit our site for more information."


http://www.theconsecrated.com/

What skeptical thinking boils down to is the means to construct, and to understand, a reasoned argument and -- especially important -- to recognize a fallacious or fraudulent argument. The question is not whether we like the conclusion that emerges out of a train of reasoning, but whether the conclusion that emerges out of a train follows from the premise of starting point and whether that premise is true.


This is a great resource for any skeptic who needs the means to deconstruct bunk into its baser elements. The examples are the best:


"meaningless question"
(e.g., What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? But if there is such a thing as an irresistible force there can be no immovable objects, and vice versa)


http://www.skeptics.com.au/journal/baloney.htm

CSICOP chairman says legitimate discussion of cloning's importance was seriously undermined by disproportionate coverage of UFO cult's claims


By Kevin Christopher, CSICOP Public Relations Director


January 10, 2002


Clonaid, Ra�l, and the media seem to have got things backwards, says Paul Kurtz, chairman of the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP). It should have been science first, publicity second. Without a shred of corroborative evidence, the French UFO cult visionary Ra�l (formerly known as Claude Vorilhon) and his strange brand of extraterrestrial futurism were catapulted into the world spotlight by the suspect announcement that Clonaid, the human cloning company founded by Ra�l, had achieved its first success.


Now that it has become clear that the first alleged human clone will not be verified through DNA testing after all, several media watchers are sifting through the smoking wreckage of this crashed media cycle. Kurtz is one of them. In 1997, he debated Ra�l on MSNBC. CSICOP's official journal, Skeptical Inquirer, has covered and criticized many the previous claims and exploits of the Ra�lians.


Kurtz is distressed by the recent coverage. "It exposes the decreasing standards of many in the media business," he says. "Here you have an unsubstantiated claim from dubious sources acting on a bizarre agenda, and it makes newspaper headlines and leads cable news for weeks. Coverage for Ra�l and Clonaid has dumbed down an import scientific issue. Meanwhile, the genuine understanding of scientific issues like therapeutic cloning among legislators and the general public is next to nil, and many in Congress and the Bush administration have been acting to undermine this very type of critical scientific research."


Indeed, a January 9, 2003, Fox News Channel online story by Liza Porteus announced the introduction of a new Human Cloning Prohibition Act bill in the House of Representatives the previous day. "The bill got a jump start this session," writes Porteus, "after Clonaid... claimed it had delivered a human clone baby and had three more on the way." The bill, sponsored by Representative Bart Stupak (D-MI), Rep. David Weldon (R-FL) and 80 other House co-sponsors, would ban both reproductive and therapeutic cloning. This has many scientific groups worried, since therapeutic cloning is a promising technique for replicating specific types of cells rather than an actual embryo. A ban, say researchers, would undermine efforts to find cures for Alzheimer's and diabetes.


"The media are not serving the public debate by rolling out the red carpet to a pack of ludicrous UFO cultists," says Kurtz. "Coverage of the Ra�lians' cloning efforts only reinforces an ill-informed public's Frankensteinian fears."


Several months ago, Michael Guillen, the former ABC Science Editor who had been organizing the independent testing of Clonaid's results, was pitching a lucrative reality-based TV program about the cloning efforts to Fox Entertainment and other TV networks, according to the New York Times. Guillen has now publicly distanced himself from the fiasco. Nevertheless, on ABC's "Good Morning America" (January 8, 2003), Guillen said he was still holding out hope. "I think there's a small chance [that the claims are true]. And the stakes are so high ... that's why I want to test." That small chance has gotten far smaller, says Kurtz, with every delay and excuse from Clonaid.


An anonymous Food & Drug Administration official told the New York Times that the company's cloning facilities were, in many ways, inadequate for the task. A January 1, 2003, story by Kenneth Chang and Gina Kolata quotes the official about conditions at Clonaid's Nitro, West Virginia, facility. Though the lab-a rented room at an abandoned high school-did have state-of-the-art equipment, "[t]here was no place where sterile conditions could be had." Insects flew in and out of open windows, possibly from a nearby barn. The research staff at the facility amounted to a woefully unprepared graduate student tracking work on cow ovaries with notebooks "inadequate" to document scientific research. Such testimony casts even more doubt on Clonaid's ability to pull off what would be one of the great scientific achievements of the 21st century.


At best the Ra�lian/Clonaid PR coup will do no damage and fade from public memory. At worst, however, as Kurtz and others fear, the UFO cult's media high jinks may be contributing to the death of legitimate cloning research in the United States.


All press queries should be directed to Kevin Christopher, CSICOP Public Relations Director
Phone: 716 636 1425
Fax 716 636 1733
E-mail: press@csicop.org

Barris is certainly guilty of many offenses. He was a pioneer of reality TV, bringing to life The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game and other unscripted programs designed to allow participants to humiliate themselves before a national audience. He then stepped in front of the camera with his most infamous creation, The Gong Show.


But while Barris was destroying American culture, was he also executing enemy spies? In Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, a 1980 autobiography, the TV legend offers this self-assessment:


"My name is Charles Hirsch Barris. I have written pop songs, I have been a television producer. I am responsible for polluting the airwaves with mind-numbing puerile entertainment. In addition, I have murdered 33 human beings."


http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/WolfFiles/wolffiles.html

SAN FRANCISCO -- A city known worldwide for its dense fog is tapping a vastly underused resource: the sun.


Construction will soon begin on San Francisco's first major solar-power project -- a $7.4 million retrofit of the Moscone Convention Center that will include the rooftop installation of 5,000 solar panels.


http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,57046,00.html

OKLAHOMA CITY-Jay Wesley Neill was executed by the state of Oklahoma on Thursday, December 12. Activists say his death sentence was tainted by bias and homophobia.


Requests from organizations including Queer Watch, Queer to the Left, and Amnesty International to Oklahoma Governor, Frank Keating, to delay the execution were to no avail.


The groups say Oklahoma prosecutors urged the jury to consider Neill.s sexual orientation in determining whether to mete out a death sentence. They say homophobia is revealed by the prosecutor.s own words at trial.


"I want you to think briefly about the man you.re setting [sic] in judgment on and determining what the appropriate punishment should be," the prosecutor told the jury, "[J]ust put in the back of your mind what if I was sitting in judgment on this person without relating it to Jay Neill, and I.d like to go through some things that to me depict the true person, what kind of person he is. He is a homosexual. The person you.re sitting in judgment on-disregard Jay Neill. You.re deciding the life or death on a person that.s a vowed homosexual."


The prosecutor.s appeal to prejudice was successful. The jury sentenced Neill to death despite what the groups say was significant mitigating evidence of Neill.s remorse, his physical abuse at the hands of both his father and stepfather and medical problems as a child. The US 10th Circuit Court of Appeals found the prosecutor.s remarks to be illegitimate and improper but refused to overturn the sentence.


http://www.txtriangle.com/archive/1111/topstories.htm

Are you the type of person who longs for patience and tranquility in your life? Of course you are, but in our modern society who has the time? Now it's possible. With the items contained in this kit you can quickly and efficiently reach an inner peace that can take monks an entire lifetime to achieve.


http://www.bonsaipotato.com/

Canada's law on possession of small amounts of marijuana is no longer valid, an Ontario judge ruled Thursday.


The teen's lawyer, Brian McAllister, argued there is effectively no law in Canada prohibiting the possession of 30 grams of marijuana or less. His client was accused of possessing five grams of pot.


http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/01/02/marijuana030102

Make no mistake, we need the self-appointed language cops of North America to curb the use of hackneyed expressions.


And we need them now more than ever.


The world's recent pre-occupation with terrorism and security spawned many of the 23 most-loathed idioms of 2002, earning special recognition on Lake Superior State University's annual list of phrases that should be banished.


News junkies will recognize the front-runners, starting with the ubiquitous "make no mistake." George W. Bush, the U.S. President, attached this admonition to everything from financial reporting reforms to threats aimed at al-Qaeda in 2002, supplying endless fodder for mimics and late-night comics.


Just as unpopular was "now more than ever" -- a bit of shorthand U.S. advertisers used to invoke the memory of Sept. 11, without actually mentioning the date.


It acted as an implied warning, suggesting the need for life insurance or child safety harnesses has suddenly grown urgent for reasons everyone knows.


"This precious way of saying, 'Now that we've had a terrorist attack on U.S. soil, we have a duty to recognize the important things in life,' seems to be the recent darling of advertisers and politicians," said Josh Mandel of Colonie, N.Y., one of many who submitted the phrase. "What simpering balderdash."


"What's next?" asked Mike Bowers of Lebanon, N.J. " 'Now, more than ever, Americans need 50% more raisins in their cereal?' "


http://www.canada.com/national/story.asp?
id={367419F4-347A-465B-9780-0E8043E75D56}